All things CHANGE

We are in Texas... It all happened in 3 weeks. Stuart got transfered with the same company and he went out for two weeks, then i stayed and packed up the rest of us and we moved the following weekend. It took us 3 days to get here, we had 4 flat tires. It was the worst drive ever but my mom came with and that took some stress off of us having another suppport person around and she could play with the kids. So thats the quick of it. I'd right more but i still dont feel well.

cardiologist

well if my brain can not fail then my heart should try....

palaptations have gotten worse and my blood pressure has been 70/50 for a couple of weeks. so we went to a cardiologist. nothing is known yet just testing everything. I'll let you know when i know something.

memory

hung stuarts underwear up in the closet and put ty's juice cup in the washing machine!!! hahaha

now and then

comparitively, i am sooo much better i still have my days where all i want to do is sleep. we went to church on Sunday but by RS my head was pounding and i had to find stuart to leave. i walked up and he was freaking bc I was crying. (i don't do it ever) They had sung a song that got to me and that didn't make it any easier. i forgot to take my pain med's before we left, dumb on my part. dude it hurts, what do you expect. but after we got home stuart made a roast and i layed down with some great meds while the kids naped. He has been such a help. I have to get to Wallmart soon. but mabe later. I don't know if Stuart really wants to take me or not. Shopping together is soo hard bc we have exact opposite ideas and we are both strong willed and stubborn. But we both respect that in the end it REALY doesn't matter, which cereal we buy or not, as long as we get one.

so today, anika is teething pretty badly and ty is just playing in the house. He has started really imagineing things. At night he is scared of allegators and ghosts. i don't know where this has started but here we are. I got him a whale from Ikea that has worked at eating them and anything that is scaring him. just like in picnochio ( he got it form gram at easter).

Stuart amazingly has tons of work. like 80 hours a week up at the mine inspecting everything. thanks for job security. with everything else going on it would be crazy if that was not constant too. I mean we still are not finiancially stable, we are right where everyone else is but it is just bc of medical expenses.

Anika is needing different formula and it just makes me wish that i was still feeding her. She spits up at least 3/4 of what she eats and since i am homebound it makes changing formulas harder. She got her first shots on Friday and really didn't do that badly. that made me happy. Ty had every reaction in the book. I was ready for that again and it was a great blessing that it did not occur.

So there is a quick update.
Catch you soon.

bored

stu has massive weird hours but at least he is working. i am bored.

funny pics

try,try again

this is what everything has been for the past week. my house, i swear i cleaned it on wednesday. you can't tell that today! taxes, i started organizing everything so that i can file. you can't tell today. instead i have watched horton hears a who billions of times and tried to post pics to this site more than once.anika is a handful but man has ty been difficult. i tried to start potty training and that did not go over well. mabe this weekend with conference and a set of extra hands from stuart. if i can convince him to watch conference or even stay inside. the garage is an outlet for him and with all the stress right now i don't blame him for wanting to be outside doing something and feeling a sense of accomplishment. so that is this week. trying to get a handel on everything once again. if i fail there is always next week. :)

i do like my hair blonde!!!

it won't let me post pics?

graduation

i graduate next week. my mom goes home, my gram goes home and i am here to tend to a newborn and a ty!!! IT will be hard but after my mom, i love her, has been here it is going to take me a while to get the house back to normal!!! i am tired, soooo tired. but i think that i will be able to handel it. when mom leaves i can nap with the kids and take it easy. next week is going to be great!! anyone want to stop by just do it. i am up and enjoy the company!!!

is home

i hate the hospital!!!! and i hate being sick even worse. but now i hate recovery time the most. so there is lots of things that were messed with this time. cognative. memory. and i am so much more straight forward. i don't get sarcasm but i am sarcastic? ya i don't get it either. my head is still shaved. i'll post some pics later. scar is not that bad. i am tired though. anika is already teething, at 4 mnths. sad i missed the first months. ty is still jumping and doing 2 year old things. mom and gram will be here for a while. it's ok i need them. on to therapy. both speech and occupational and physical. luckily it is here at home so i don't have to drive. can't drive for 6 mnths. it's better i get it. better for all of you as well. stu is still working crazy hours. luckily, that his job is still sooooo busy. he was up for 23 hrs and just went to bed, poor stu. i am better and i am home!! i love home.

Mandy

Mandy has had the tubes, monitor things taken off, she is up walking around. She looks good. We are hoping they will let her come home soon. We Love you Mandy

So TIRED!

Ty has been playing so hard, just couldn't stay awake.

Update

We went to see Mandy tonight, doing good, looks good. Able to eat food, no more broth.

Surgery

Surgery went well. They were able to get alot of the tumor out. There was some of the tumor around the memory part of the brain, the Doctor decided to leave that and just watch it. Mandy is doing good. The report from Stuart last night was she was doing good, she had some broth and was resting. I will post more as I hear from Stuart.

The Armada

Stuart changed the ARMADA to the AMANDA. Cool

surgery

feb 24th at 7am i go in for resection of the brain tumor which is in the middle of the two hemispheres so they will cut from ear to ear. tmi? then they will open the back out and take the shunt out that isn't working anyways. then we pray that the biopsy still is benign, and it is all good. two weeks in the hospital probibly and 6 mnths rehab? Who needed to see OBAMA screw this year anyways he still has three more to go. and don't get me started on socialism or the new secretary of labor. thanks

Anyone go Clippers

2 weeks has always been significant in my life. rain also. everything that has been major in my life has taken two weeks or is coming in two weeks. and rain. it is always rainy when major things happen too. i think that it is a deep and fundamental symbol or God's way of telling me to pay attention or something. anyways it has been rainy here in az and i had a mri and shuntigrahm yesturday. We found that the shunt is not working and my tumor is bigger than it was in 2005 when they first had the surgery so in 2 weeks i will be going in for a 3 surgery with the need of a possible 4th afterwards. Hope the tumor is still benign. Hope they get it all this time and I hope they don't hit too many wires that i need or can't recover from. Man and i liked my new blonde hair so much. Anyone got clippers?

TWINS

So these pictures show my twins, they are just two years apart mind you. But i swear they look exactly alike.

thought that this was funny when i found it.
got helps this week at home care of the higley rs.
thanks so much bc i am burnt beyond scraping off the edges and applying more butter to your toast.
scooting is my method of travel
an apple was a tomatoe, not a good surprise

i fear it is going to be a long two weeks.


on the good side, anika got another chiropractic adjustment and is now sleeping more than 15 min. Going to try cat nip for her collic as nothing else has worked.

more questions than answers

(so i wrote it once but accidently deleted it...) as usual... more questions than answers. but Obstructive Hydrocephalus because papiledemia was seen, which means that the spinal fluid is getting backed up in my brain and blew my optic disk in my eye so i get more blind spots and the possiblily of blindness. SO. MRI with and without contrast (can breastfeed for 48 hrs... do i supplement or try to get enough stored), a shunt series. They poke a Lumbar Puncture needle in the shunt extract fluid and put dye in and watch it run through my system. IF it is the shunt then a revision is done and since the docs are there then they might try to get part of the tumor. IF they can get the rest of the tumor then the shunt will not be placed back in and they will keep me with a shunt release tap (cathedar in the brain to drain off fluid into a bag) IF i can survive without it then it doesn't get put back in. IF they get the tumor out then back to pathology and hope it remains benign but since it regrew that chance is slim. So then Chemo and radiation begins.

great, fun, hospital food is the best. We can afford another 300,000 thats pocket change. ( deep sarcasm and irritation fully noted)

Conclusions

tonight i sit feeding anika and think how quickily time flies, greatful for my time with her. mabe there is a reason for the long days and even longer nights that have transpired. tomarw we go to the neurosurgeon and hope for the conclusion to this time in my life. stuart deserves a wife free of pain. soon. so tomarow comes and i haven't a clue on what the answer will be or if any. or will we just begin searching again for answers somewhere else in the world. St. judes is an option or what about CederSinai in LA. Boston? Shams in Jacksonville? how far must i search. India or Italy? I just want to find House.

seriously all i want to do is get a hard workout in, without passin out. (lose the baby weight) See without seeing duplicates. Hear without the ring or the sound of my heart in the background. Smell the correct thing. Taste what i am really eating. Feel hot and cold. Not be exhausted. SLEEP and go into REM. Not slurring my speech. Think clearly. and laugh without making my head hurt worse.

mabe tomarrow...

uugh!!!

We do NOT color on the tile! WHo said 2 year olds can't clean.

this is what happens when i have to feed, hold or take care of Anika.

Any suggestions?

WHEWW. WHat a ChRistMAs wE had!

Anika came a day earily. 6.2 18 in long on 12.9

This is me in Labor and ready to push. 15 min later she and i went into stress and the C.Section was bumped up. Never a Dull moment!

Ty meeting Anika for the First Time!

Ty helping Megan Eat. She is our anorexic dog.

Ty was sooo into presents...

Gun was not included...

New Years Eve. Start them earily.

Anika's coming home outfit..

Ty letting prima taygen opening his gifts

Santa brought a choo choo train.

Thats her Buca.

Got her first smile.

Prima Peso dressing in ANika's clothes







So as you can see it was a busy Christmas Season. Greatful to be back from Yuma. We also did Anika's blessing there and those pictures are somewhere?! I'll find them eventually. In the mean time. Sleep is a void. Laughter is easily found. Hope is inwaiting and faith gaining in stride.

AWWE!!! what a month. Christmas came and went in a blur