New Relief, hope

In a week, we will be the proud parents of two, not just one, healthy bueatiful children. This alone has Stuart and I giddy and excited. Finally, for me an end to this chapter of my life. The doctors all agree that my body is on the verge of collapse and defeat. So this week Stuart and I with the help of my family try to find balance so that with the impeding birth comes a fresh start for my body. We know that this will be a short breath mabe even a quick exhale, but on some level normalcy will be felt. And we couldn't be more excited. Apprehensions are felt but we must just look to the wonders of it all. Two short years ago we were told that we would never have children of our own and in two short years we have two. We are trying to rationalize what we thought would be a more abundant family but now are accepting that two is great! I keep surpassing all medical prognoisis and am searching for new developments in my diagnoisis. It is a lonely island at times but then at least no one can tell us how to live our life. We are facing major financial battles as are tons of families. The acceptance of losing it all has become a reality that we are finally understanding. It is just a home and we have a family. What more can we be be wanting. Who would have thought all of this would be happening to us at once?
Stuart laughs at my theories and beliefs at the turn of this year. (both political, economical, and spiritual) He listens when I yell and then calms me down. What a great and patient man he is. I know that he didn't sign up for this but am grateful that he didn't walk away when he had the chance. (His oppertunity was at my first surgery when i awoke and did not know him at all, we had been married for only 6 mnths) It is amazing that the romanticism that is in this disease, but he truly proves it daily. (thanks movies that i will never watch) HE works exhausting hours to provide for our family and he gives of himself freely to all that need. He is a devoted friend to those that value it and understands the truthfulness of the gospel.
My parents understand that it is not their fault, there is nothing that they could have done to prevent it. (boomer) They help with everything. My father helps guide us through all the hard decisions by never losing site of the eternal perspective and my mom always shows compassion. Humor is sickness best cure. I can be in the worst pain and they make me laugh everything is better. They are busy bees and so now with both them and my grandparents here for the holidays my house is full. Sometimes it feels like Charlie and the Choclate factory when the only thing rational comes, with "I Like grapes." But atleast it is fun and entertaining.
Ty is a bundle of joy. Anika is a great kicker.
I tried to start journals to both him and Anika and just have not figuared out how to begin. I can not wait just to be a normal active mom yelling at my childs game. Mabe this will be a possiblilty after the next big chapter ends. It is true with one end comes another beginning. We will begin looking towards the next battle soon enough and for now i would rather concentrate on the blessings of motherhood rather than the cue ball that will have to be my new hair cut for a year. (too bad i am not a cute butch) The blessings are great and I am grateful that I am able to bare two children. I am grateful for family.
All we need now is a few more miracles. Can i even ask this? I am, I have too. It allows hope in a better future and finalization in this chapter I am so done with.